The Extraordinary

Yesterday, our amazing beloved pastor continued our sermon series on the old testament. Now, I have to admit, the old testament is not something that is easy for me to understand or apply to my life. Sure I learned bible stories as a kid, and remember bits and pieces of them now, but my overall understanding of the old testament has been, well, pretty poor. But God. God has given us the wisdom of brilliant people, like our pastor, who does have understanding of the old testament and who can discern what the text may be saying to us. What that text may be saying to me. And so yesterday, we looked at Ruth. And I waited with anticipation to see how this could possibly have anything to do with me. Because, it's about me, right? Ha. God has a sense of humor, and used yesterday to remind me that it isn't about me. Well, definitely not really about me in a direct way. It is about Him. And about how He uses people like me for His purposes. It would have been difficult to not focus on what our pastor was saying, as he went on to explain how God is willing to use people, even like me as He weaves His way to be a blessing to all the nations. I kept thinking that this was God speaking directly to me through our pastor. I know it was.

I am really a simple, ordinary person. In the big scheme of life, I am a little person. I am not a lawyer or judge who can fight for justice. I am not a brilliant doctor offering healing. I am not a skilled computer expert who can devise technological advances to change lives. I am in the mainstream. Just someone who gets up every day, goes to work, and takes care of children. I don't desire glamor or wealth. I don't desire to be noticed. Those who know me know that to be true. I like to feel like I am living life to the fullest, and that somehow I make a difference in the lives of others. In some small way. So yesterday, when our pastor spoke of how God used a "random, peasant woman" named Ruth as the person who would enable the lineage of king David, which would lead to Christ, I got chills. God chose the ordinary person to accomplish something extraordinary. He chose someone who is the average person. Our pastor explained, our lives matter. Our lives have purpose. ALL lives have purpose. Not only the big, important people. Even those of us who are the little people. Our lives can make a difference, even if we never see the final outcome. Ruth never knew the final outcome, which is ok because it's not about her. I know that I am being called to do more. Why me? I have no clue. I suppose it's because I am ordinary and unexpected and God is God. I suppose it's because God has an extraordinary purpose to fulfill in part through a random girl like me.

As I thought about these words, I thought of the orphans we met last November, and over the past 10 years that I have been lucky enough to do work with orphanages. Their lives matter. I thought of my four daughters. Their lives matter. I thought of sweet Hope. Her life matters. Maybe she will never see the outcome of her story either. Maybe she will never know how people have come together to pray for her miracle. How miracles already happened in the unfolding of her story. How desperately she is wanted and loved by so many around the world. The fact that Hope has lived this long with end stage liver disease is extraordinary. The fact that it is her life which opened my eyes to the needs of the sickest of orphans is extraordinary. The fact that God would choose an ordinary single mother to be a part of His extraordinary plan is just beyond words. Like Ruth, neither Hope nor I may ever see the final outcome of the purposes of our lives, which is ok. I know for certain, because it is about Him and not about me, that whatever happens in this next phase of my life is somehow related to His greater purpose and good. And I am grateful to our pastor for that reminder.

Twenty years of grafting

Twenty years ago, I was a new grad OT and began my career working at an outpatient rehabilitation center. I had done one of my internships there, and loved working with both adult and pediatric patients who had neurological or oncology diagnoses. It wasn't too long into my work when I was assigned to see a 9 year old who had been diagnosed with a brain tumor. She had sustained treatment, and it had taken its toll on her little body. Since we had a therapeutic pool, her doctors thought maybe this would give her some relief from the pain she constantly felt. I couldn't wait to get started with her, and at the time had no idea how she would impact my life so profoundly. I looked at her therapy holistically. We would make it fun at all times. I would help her to live life to the fullest, while treating not only her physical needs, but her emotional needs as well. I had no idea that what I was doing for sweet Sarah, was a form of palliative care. It is the type of care I believe all children with life threatening conditions deserve.

Going to China in November opened my eyes to the reality that the sickest of orphans are often left to suffer and die alone. There is very little helping them to live life to the fullest as they live out their final days. I came home especially touched by baby Hope, and what I realized was that my ultimate prayer for her was that she could live life to the fullest, and not die alone. I literally said those words to Dr Jonas, the head of the liver transplant team at Children's Hospital Boston. I explained to her that even if she were too sick for transplant, I didn't want her to suffer and die alone. I so wanted to be the one to be with her in her final days, and became haunted by the thought of her suffering and being alone. But God. God knew this and had a plan. Little Hope would travel to Henan to be with Scarlet and be comforted. She would be played with. She would be held for hours on end. She would be adored and loved. Her pain and symptoms would be managed, just as I had prayed. She's not alone, and is living life to the fullest, just like Sarah did.

I am in awe of how God has been working on His plan all this time. Starting with Sarah and including other babies and young children with terminal illnesses who I have had the privilege of working with over the past 20 years. All directing me to this moment. I know what is needed, and what should be done. I have been prepared by an awesome God who has gently guided me, given me the connections in China who trust me, and enabled knowledge with experience to continue my work there.

As I consider the magnitude of this unfolding, I cannot help but think of the children who are waiting. Who are, at this very minute, suffering and alone. There has to be a better way. I know there is a better way. It's time to make a difference. Children like baby Hope deserve it.