Choosing yes

Yesterday, the China adoption world was rocked by word of the loss of one of our own. Little Ivy Joy was a warrior in the true sense of the word. She was adopted by her amazing family just shy of her 2nd birthday with a very, very broken heart. Ivy sustained surgery after surgery at some of the top hospitals in the country to help fix her heart, including several surgeries at our Boston Children's Hospital. During one of Ivy's surgeries here in Boston, I was able to meet her mom whose very presence radiates His light and love. How lucky Ivy was to have this woman as her mother. Even luckier however, was Ivy's family to have Ivy. She deepened their faith, much like baby Hope has deepened my own faith, and brought such joy. When Ivy was adopted, her family let the world have a glimpse into what it was like to share life with this extraordinary child. Many of us, including my girls, prayed for Ivy when she was in the woods after surgeries. We all prayed praises as Ivy defeated odds and lived. The news of Ivy's unexpected passing has left many of us in the adoption community grieving right along with her shattered family right now. It has left me, once again, considering the power of adoption and life in this world.

You see, Ivy's family made a choice. They chose yes to a little girl who had a very broken little heart. They chose yes when they could have chosen no. In their choosing yes, the world was able to see the power, hope, and love of our very great God as He worked miracles through this very special warrior. Without her family's yes, Ivy may never have been known to this world. She certainly would not have survived in an orphanage in her condition. The world would not have seen this little child grow and thrive in her family as she did over the past 5 years. The world would have missed so much, if Ivy's family did not choose yes.

There are so many choices we can make in the course of a day. We can choose yes or no. And some of those choices can have have significant consequences. Life altering consequences. When I said yes to bringing home baby Hope, it was not expected that she would survive. Many times, others have said to me, that they could not have done what I did. I imagine Ivy's mom has likely heard the same. But the truth is, anyone could do what we have done. It just takes a yes instead of a no. That's what it comes down to, really. It is a choice. Yes or no.

Bringing Hope home was my first experience with saying yes to a situation close to death. I remember the thoughts that ran through my head. Thoughts that this baby deserved to have a family surround her if she were to die. Thoughts that she deserved to be loved for as long or as short as her days on earth are to be. These are truths. These are things that every person deserves. These thoughts overpowered the fears. Because, of course I was afraid. I imagine none of us enjoys going through grief and loss. It is not fun and yes I fear it sometimes. But, it is part of living. Really living.

Once Hope was in my arms, I remember telling one of my BFF's that I wasn't sure I could survive if something happened to her. Just like I wasn't sure I could survive if anything were to happen to any of my girls. The mere thought of losing any of them is too much to even consider. Because that is what love does. It creates a bond so strong that we don't ever want to lose anyone we love. We wonder how we will get through it. We pray to prolong time here in this world. But, the reality of life is that none of us will live forever on this earth. We receive no guarantee with any child, whether through birth or adoption, for longevity of life. None. Should the thought that we will experience profound loss paralyze any of us from saying yes? Will we let the reality of loss outweigh the gain of joy in this life? Especially with hundreds of thousands of children in orphanages or in foster care who are waiting for a yes?

Over the past 24 hours, I have thought how much I wish Ivy's time here on earth was longer. I do so wish that. And yet, along with that, I am so grateful that her family chose yes. Yes. Three letters that changed a family and a little girl's life forever. Three letters that changed the course of the world. Yes.