12 hours...

In 12 hours I will be meeting with the elementary special education supervisor, Mia's classroom teacher, Mia's ESL teacher, and the school speech and language pathologist about their findings that Mia is ineligible for special education services. If it looks like I am counting the minutes, I am. If I said I was completely at peace with this meeting, I would be lying. All of my past experiences in trying to obtain special education services for Mia have been met with such opposition and dismissiveness that all of my faith in the system has been lost. I have no trust in those in charge of educating my child. This is a sad fact. However, the fear that I woke up with this morning is no longer there. It has been replaced by the sense that God is in charge of Mia. He always has been. He protected her while she was living in an orphanage, with anemia so severe that people have been known to slip into a coma and die from it. He guided my family to her, after she waited for 2 years for a family on the waiting child list. He gave grace as we struggled through the first months together. She is His. She always has been. Her needs are known to Him, and He WILL provide for her again.

I will not be walking into this meeting alone. I have hired an advocate who will accompany me. He knows the laws. He knows the rules. He knows what my rights are. He knows the system. He understands the testing which has already been completed. He has said he is literally appalled at how my child has had her needs dismissed. I feel confident that he knows what he is doing. But even greater than that, Mia has a bigger advocate going into this meeting. One who commands us to care for orphans and widows. One who asks us to love one another. One who asks us to offer forgiveness. To offer grace. Even to those who have been obstacles to my child's educational and emotional well being.

And so tomorrow, I will *try* to extend some grace to those who have wronged her. Mia is complicated. She is a child who came here a age 5 with beta thalassemia major. Perhaps because she is not a behavior problem, tries her best to please, and is truly one of the kindest children I know, the educators had hoped she would be ok. Perhaps they really did believe that all of her issues were due to "only 2 years of english". However, the circumstances changed last month with the realization that there is likely a second diagnosis of a syndrome which explains some of what is complicated about Mia. I am hoping that the educators will be able to see this. I am hoping that they will be willing to work together to help her achieve to the best of her ability. I am hoping that I remember that I have the choice to reflect Christ while in this meeting. I choose to surrender to the one who holds Mia in His hands, and trust that He knows what is best for her. I choose to believe that He will provide for her, just as He has always done.