Moving forward for 2014

A recent conversation with a dear friend reminded me that everyone in life has adversity. It is everywhere. Yet how we respond is the important part. How we *choose* to respond. Do we look for the mercies? Do we cherish the goodness amid the hardship? Or do we focus on the enormity? Do we become stuck in negativity? For the past several weeks I have felt overshadowed by the current trials. I lost my focus. There are still moments in the day where my focus is lost, but I understand what my friend was telling me. God never looks at me and thinks "her needs are too much". He looks past the needs, and says I am worth it. Always. That thought stopped me cold in my tracks.

Yesterday was transfusion day for Mia (and subsequently for Hannah, although for Hannah it isn't "life or death" as it is for Mia). It was also the day of the first blizzard of the season. By Wednesday, I was worrying about how I would get into Boston for our 3:00pm transfusion time if the weather was poor. I started worrying about how we would all get home. I worried about the two older girls having school, and possibly being released early. Worry instead of trust. Ah, yes, I still have a way to go. By 7:30pm Wednesday night we got the call that school would be canceled for both Thursday and Friday. Mercy #1. We would all go to Boston for the transfusion. Another dear friend living in Boston offered a place to crash if we became stuck in Boston due to poor driving conditions. Mercy #2. On Thursday morning, I called the hospital to see if we could come in early. The forecast was snow for the next 36 hours. The sooner we could get in and get back, the better. No cancellations yet. However, I decided to get the kids ready, pack clothes "just in case" we could not drive home, and head into Boston in case of cancellation. As we were driving, I got a call saying they would start the transfusion early. Mercy #3. We got safely into Boston, and each girl was easily accessed for IV to begin transfusion. By two of our favorite nurses, Marisa and Diana. Mercy #4. Our child life specialist Jill, heard one of the girls say she was hungry...and out came the lunch menu. For all 5 of us. Mercy #5. An hour later, Mia's hemoglobin was remarkably 9.3 despite being at day 24 since last transfusion. We would be out of the hospital at 4 hours, rather than 5 hours. Mercy #6. I could keep going and going. Minimal sibling squacking. Mercy #7. On the road home by 4:00pm. Mercy #8. Friends and family calling or texting to see if we made it home safely. Mercy #9. No transfusion reactions. Mercy #10. Children who slept the entire 2+ hour drive home, giving me a break to think, pray, and listen to music uninterrupted. Mercy #11. Ect. Mercies everywhere.

As my precious friend reminded me, my children are watching me. They are learning how they could respond, someday, when they face a trial which seems overpowering or too big. I choose to focus on the mercies. I choose to focus on what I can do, and let go of what I cannot. I choose to trust that Mia's needs will be provided for; that our needs will be provided for too. I choose a new beginning for 2014.