As I have been thinking about this and praying about it I already had the expectation that not everyone would approve of my choice to bring home baby Hope. And that is ok. This is my own life, and I will live it according to what I believe I am being asked to do and what I believe is the right thing to do. We live in a world where some people feel strongly about having the right to weigh in on the ways others live, even when those others live in a way which brings no harm to anyone. I know this and get this, although it doesn't make it right (in my opinion). I guess I did not expect such a public, hurtful reaction to my decision from someone who clearly disagrees with how I am living my life. Baby Hope is a person. Her life matters. Just like all orphans matter, and all people who walk on this earth matter. Just like the person who chose to walk right by us matters. I just could not allow sweet baby Hope to suffer and die an agonizing death alone when I was given the gift of being able to do something about it. It is not the type of person I am. And all of the doors were opened for me to go get her. Doors unexpectedly open. So I chose to make that decision knowing that I would be inviting all of the joys and challenges of adding another child to my family. It just happens that my child is slowly dying of end stage liver failure and will need a miracle which comes with exceptional medical care available here in the United States. If she does not get that miracle, I will still have no regrets. She is surrounded by the love and care of my family and friends, and at the end of my days that matters more than anything else I can think of which exists in this world.
The world is a harsh place. It is a place where orphans suffer and die daily, in each and every country. It is a place where medical care can be a luxury for those who can afford it. It is a place where people can choose to shun others based on decisions they make or how they live lives which bring no harm to anyone. And yet, it is also a beautiful place. It is a place where the sickest orphans are lovingly welcomed into homes. It is a place where orphans with syndromes and illnesses are chosen. It is a place where those with medical backgrounds choose to give up personal vacations or lucrative careers in order to provide help to those in need. It is a place where people go out of their way to support and encourage others.
The outpouring of love, care, encouragement, and support I have received through the adoption of baby Hope FAR outweighs the shun I receive. I realized, in going through this, that I have a choice to decide where to plant my focus and perspective. I could become bitter at the harshness of this world or I could become joyful in the beauty of it. Given that choice, I choose joy. I choose love. And I choose hope.
We experienced the same when we brought Rini home. I lost some friends I had had for many years...no calls, texts, visits, nothing. I could never, and still can't, understand the simmering anger they seemed to carry towards our choice, particularly since it had no affect on them. But the beautiful outcome is that in letting go of those relationships, my time has been freed to nurture the frienships with those who showed themselves to be filled with love. Once you cross over into the realm that you have, your perspective is one that those who have not simply cannot fathom. God bless you and your beautiful daughter.
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