Hope in the risk

"Love is always worth the risk".

I wrote those words. Two years ago. Two years ago to the very day that we would get the call that there was a liver donor for sweet baby Hope. I wrote them to the mother of a little girl whose story I had been following. A little girl who was living with half a heart. A little girl who, like Hope, was not expected to make it. A little girl who was adopted from China as an answer to her mother's prayers. A little girl who embodied hope as she defied all odds and human understanding. A little girl who hung onto life and received the miraculous gift of a hero heart transplant. A little girl who stole the hearts of all those around her, including mine. A little girl, who would be known as Lily Strong. A little girl, whose very life was such a huge testimony to the love of our great God.

At the time, I had no idea what would unfold in my life just two years later. At the time, I did not know that it was no coincidence that I was carefully following and praying for sweet Lily and her family. At the time, I had no idea that as I spoke about Lily to my family and friends that God was weaving together stories and lives for His glory. At the time, I did not know that I was being prepared to walk a similar yet unique path. At the time, I did not know that I would ever actually have a hint of what was going through the mama heart of Lily's mom. At the time, I did not know that I would be asked to love dangerously, just as Lily's mom does.

I wrote those words to Lily's mama on November 24, 2013. And now, November 24, 2015 we would receive a call from Hope's transplant team that there was a hero liver for her. My friend found these words and shared them with me, as Hope lay sleeping on my chest awaiting her surgery. I immediately thought of the past year and all that Hope has been through. Six months of the past year were spent in an orphanage and hospice home as an orphan where she was not expected to survive. I thought of how impossible it was that she made it out of China and that she made it home. I thought of how unfathomable that it is that she was still alive and breathing on me. I thought of how miraculous that she has actually made it to the point where this gift is an option. I thought of how fierce my love is for her. And I thought of how I would do it all over again for her. Because she is so, so worth it.

I am still not sure why I was the one chosen to be Hope's mother. But I am beyond grateful that I was chosen. Loving her has taught me so so much, and I am still learning. I have learned to try to live in the moment and find the beauty. I have learned that there is ALWAYS hope. I have learned to choose hope in even the most desperate of situations or when things seem out of control. And I have learned that to love, even to love in the face of enormous uncertainty, is always worth it.

I live now to choose hope. And I live now to choose love. Because love is always worth the risk.