Love in Abundance

The year 2015 is certainly going to go down as miraculous. Truly.Miraculous. As I reflect back to all that has happened in the past year, my jaw just drops. Never, in a million gazillion years, would I EVER have predicted that I would be where I am right now.

I now have 5 daughters. FIVE. Five amazing blessings from the place on the planet where my heart stays. Five girls, from age 14 to age 1. With Hope, I knew I was taking a huge leap of faith. Over and over the words "too late" were muttered. She was not expected to survive. We were asked to disembark the plane (three times) before take off for home because she looked that sick and the flight crew panicked her possible death would be on their hands. We did not budge. I would not budge. The PACT team at Dana Farber/Children's Hospital had prepared me for that moment. I had a letter planned. My baby girl would not leave my arms. And with odds stacked against her, she not only survived, she began to thrive. Her saggy skin began to develop some flesh under it. She began to understand that she would never be alone in her suffering again. She started playing. She was listed for transplant and received her hero liver four months later. She is now expected to live a full life. I think back to all of this, and hear the words "too late" spoken by both Chinese and American doctors. I understand those words, because they were logical words. Hope defied all logic and human understanding. Her whole story is so extraordinarily miraculous. That is the only explanation.

As if the miracle of Hope's life and story were not enough, the miracles continue. It has now been eight months since I have been able to work. There has been no income since the first week of May. I cannot collect unemployment and do not receive SSI. And yet, ALL of our bills have been paid. Every.single.month. Somehow, the perfect amount is given to provide. Since May, meals and groceries have come in. Delicious meals, many home cooked. Mountains of food came in throughout the transplant hospital stay. The parking of my car at the hospital during inpatient stays has been paid for. Upon hearing that Hope and I were in the emergency room waiting to be admitted last Saturday, a dear friend quickly dropped everything to surprise us and be present. We had wonderful visitors during hospitalizations, making the time seem to fly by. The words "what do you need" are frequently spoken. Care packages came in. New tires for my car were paid for. Clothing has come in. School supplies for the girls came in. A new chromebook was given for schoolwork. A new phone was given to me by a dear friend so that there would be no unreliability, and a new laptop was given for future work in China. A dear friend donated her time and services to take the most exquisite family photos. My condo was cleaned again and again. A room mother for one of the girls has paid for all of the extras needed in her classroom. She has taken my girl under her wing and took video of my daughter when I could not be at the school for a performance. Rides were provided. Extras at the girls' after school program were provided for, so that they could partake in the gingerbread decorating. Our after school program became elves and delivered box after box of Christmas gifts for the girls, so that I could "relax and just enjoy". Gas cards and grocery store gift cards were donated. Dear friends excitedly shopped for stocking stuffers, apparently thinking we all have mega stockings. Our church family created a DVD recording of the church service to "bring church to us" in this time of isolation due to Hope's immunosuppression. Our pediatrician has supported and personally called to check in with me when we were hospitalized (this, in addition to calling the team to get the most accurate medical update). The pediatrician's office was giddy with excitement to see my baby girl after transplant. Two of my most cherished people continue to drop everything to be present for me and my girls whenever needed, always with smiling eyes and hearts. The rally cry of "choose HOPE" has become a reality as people choose to find the ultimate hope in all circumstances. Our people near and far expressed their love and care for us through prayer, texts, emails, messages, and calls. Those messages of love are *treasured* and helped us to get through some of the hard days. The thoughtfulness and kindness is just astounding. It.IS.Miraculous.

One of the biggest lessons I have been reminded of is the gift of people. The people in our lives and the time we have with them is the best gift in life. The best. I have known that, but now really know. This has been the theme of the past year. My family was given the gift of an incredibly sick baby girl who helped show us just how precious that time with people is. She has helped me to live in the moment rather than to live in the future. We learned who our true community is, and just how loved we are. I could never fully express the sincere gratitude I have in my heart for my community, my village. My village who provides us with love in abundance.