Thirty six hours

In 36 hours we are supposed to be going on vacation. As my eldest cleverly remarked "it will be our first time ever on a plane when we aren't going to adopt or volunteer in China". We have planned to go to Florida. For a rest vacation. Because, after the past year and all of the unexpected medical and school encounters, well, I am tired. The beach is a place where I have always been able to recharge and forget the tougher things of life to just experience joy. We all love being there. I want this summer to have a memory for my girls, as sisters, spending 4 days at the gulf coast. I have been counting the days for months, until our departure. I have been imagining the beautiful clear water, with baby powder sand, and watching four girls laugh and play. I have dreamed of watching a sunset on the gulf coast. It is a bucket list trip, of sorts.

Last week, Hannah Joy vomited in the middle of the night. She hadn't eaten much dinner, and seemed tired. I immediately began praying against the domino effect. With 5 of us living in pretty close quarters, dominoes could easily happen. Especially with the dreaded type of bug. By Friday, I was feeling hopeful we had dodged the bullet. Maybe, just maybe, this was a one kid thing. My hopes were dashed when Mia came into my room last night, in the middle of the night, saying she too had vomited. This, within 48 hours of flight departure.

Today, I have wondered if it is selfish of me to want this get away. Of all the weeks for my children to get sick, why now? I have been trying to make sense of it most of the day. Traveling with a cold can be tough to take. Traveling with a vomit illness is my version of torture. In 2008, on one of our orphanage volunteer trips, one of my children vomited the entire time in the airport, on our flight, and in the car. I would rather take a needle through my toe than go through that again. I am sure the child who was sick during that time would agree.

And so, I am looking for mercy here. I'm trying to hope I will find some. Single parenting during acute illness has always been the hardest for me to do. Hands down, it is always the time when I wish I had an extra set of hands. I had hoped that this vacation would be without incident. Without the need to search for mercies. I am trying to trust that it is going to work out, and will cling to any mercy I can get.