Knowing Hope

I was going to begin to share about our latest adventures by starting with the trainings we did for directors, deputy directors, and orphanage caregivers. In two provinces. These trainings were huge, really, in terms of both the number of people who attended and also with the information shared through content. My head still spins thinking about it. But, what has been on my heart for the past 48 hours since arriving home has been the babies and children we met. And that is where I need to start.

There is something sacred about walking into a place where orphans live and sometimes die. Orphans. The word is thrown around so casually everyday that perhaps it is easy to forget to fully comprehend the meaning. Walking into those places however, it is impossible not to understand. Sweet little faces, each with a story. Sweet little faces, all without families. Sweet little faces, some very sick. Sweet little faces, some with significant disabilities. Sweet little faces, each one a person, a living, breathing little life.

It is an honor to be able to walk into an orphanage and love the children who live there. It is a gift I will not take for granted. Ever. Others have wanted to visit, and have been told "no" or "it's not possible". Others have tried to get through the doors to make a difference, only to be turned away. I honestly am humbled that I am trusted and will remain true to my promise to offer help and hope. This is a very conservative province, where year after year little lives go unwitnessed. It is a privilege to speak the stories of the children who touched our lives there.

Several days ago, at one of the orphanages, we met a baby. Her little body was so weak. Her abdomen was swollen. She was jaundiced. Repeatedly, we were told "it's too late". - As I picked her up, her body molded into mine. If I put her down, she would begin to softly cry. Her eyes held a curiosity, a sadness, a desperation, a sweetness. I held her as much as I could, and when we returned a few days later, I held her again. As my daughters, friends and I marveled at her, and loved her, we needed to give her a name. We had just met a little one whose Chinese name meant Joy. It was perfect for that baby. For this little one, who carried the label of "too late" we quickly came up with Hope. Hope is perfect for this baby. She embodies true hope that somehow her life is meaningful. She embodies true hope that somehow the future will be better. She embodies true hope that the world will know of her life, despite how long or short it is, and that her life matters.

Since meeting Hope, we consulted with MD's in Shanghai. We were told that they will be unable to help her. Her only chance is perhaps to come here to the US for treatment, possibly a liver transplant. Her orphanage has agreed to take her for follow up tests tomorrow and give us the results to share with doctors here. They have sent us her original liver ultrasound from back in June, when she was only given a month to live. We will now have a comparison and can get a sense of how quickly her liver is becoming damaged. The orphanage staff are giving her the high calorie formula we brought with us from here due to the generosity of so many people who helped to support this trip. People who helped support baby Hope.

As we prepared to say goodbye, I whispered one last time that she was known and loved. I whispered gratitude for her fighting spirit and the time to hold her tight. I whispered sorrow for enduring all that she has endured in her short little life. I whispered determination that we would leave no stone unturned in trying to help her. And I whispered hope that we would one day meet again.

She deserves a chance. She deserves to have people willing to fight for her life. She deserves to be known and I will not let her down. Regardless of the outcome, little Hope, just like all of the little ones we met, has a legacy.

Her life has been witnessed and I will never been the same.